I'm seeing someone.
I typed these words and then I stared at them for a while, marvelling at the fact that these words are true for me. Again.
It's not the "let's see where it goes" kind or the "we're just hanging out" kind of seeing someone either. This is the "I'm in love with you" kind of seeing someone. The kind where someone calls me his girlfriend and I don't flinch. The type where I kiss him in public and it doesn't matter to me at all who's watching or what they would think or what he would think or if this is going too fast or 'oh god, let's do damage control preparation'. And I find myself not nervous at all.
I keep waiting for the creepy feeling of deja vu, the sense of already having been here, of trusting someone so completely that betrayal is just inevitable. But.... nothing. I feel safe. I feel centred. I feel ready.
I'm seeing someone.
Wow.
I typed these words and then I stared at them for a while, marvelling at the fact that these words are true for me. Again.
It's not the "let's see where it goes" kind or the "we're just hanging out" kind of seeing someone either. This is the "I'm in love with you" kind of seeing someone. The kind where someone calls me his girlfriend and I don't flinch. The type where I kiss him in public and it doesn't matter to me at all who's watching or what they would think or what he would think or if this is going too fast or 'oh god, let's do damage control preparation'. And I find myself not nervous at all.
I keep waiting for the creepy feeling of deja vu, the sense of already having been here, of trusting someone so completely that betrayal is just inevitable. But.... nothing. I feel safe. I feel centred. I feel ready.
I'm seeing someone.
Wow.
3 comments:
wooohooo - way to go. In the spirit of the times, may the force be with you.
somehow I missed your last few posts and just read them. Congratulations on this step!! Even with the future dream of kissing someone else, this is giving you interesting food for thought and you sound content. :)
Thanks Zimmm50. Love your writing. Do visit more often. :)
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