A Fever Dream About World Peace

 There are only 3500 billionaires in the world. Tax the pants off them. 

Make it so that once they make their 1st billion - and this includes assets, investments, shares, liquidity, debt, etc - their earnings are capped. They get a "Nobel Billionaire Award" and henceforth, every year, if the value of their assets surpasses $1 B, it's shaved off and put into a Billionaire fund that goes towards projects that the billionaires don't earn from at all. These projects can be anything from space research to astrology whatever - and since they don't earn from it at all, there is no incentive to "maximise" profits for it. Instead they maximise curiosity and efficiency.

Next, make inheritance laws limited. If you have earned $1B, automatically, when you pass away, you can only pass on 50% of that $1B or $500 M. That means if you have 10 people who will get your assets, each one gets $50M on your death. It's enough to live on, or start a business, or invest wisely so that your kids too have to work or budget to live comfortably. If they only manage to make $999M in their lives, they have the freedom to will over 100% of their assets. Only billionaires get the 50% cap. 

So what happens with this?

With no avenue of earning more than 1B, but with the drive and ambition that it took to make that 1B which is their inherent talent, the energies of the billionaires are driven to projects that would improve the world. If they can't profit financially, they should be able to profit through goodwill - which only happens when you actually do good for people. So you fix education and health and environment and labour etc. And when they reforest 10000 acres of land, they get the Golden Forestry Award and goodwill credits. And when they clean up one whole sea, along with safe waste management, they get the Fabulous Marine Award. And when they clean up the air over a state (or whatever), they get more and more goodwill credits that allows them to participate in govt and policy making that doesn't touch their tax limits. And while they do all this, because of all their good work, quality of life goes up globally, while cost of living stays the same. That $500M will have just as much value a100 years later as it does today. 

The main problem brought up here is that billionaires are not motivated by money so much as power and influence. To that I say - power and influence towards what end? To make their companies bigger to profit more, yes? To make it to the top of the Forbes list? Yeah, we gave you an award already. You won. You're still only 55 years old. What now?

And if you're not currying favor and bribing politicians and bureaucrats for your self interest - then you don't have to make Epstein Islands, to blackmail people. 

The final thing is the shell-company game. Where billionaires hide behind companies. Musk famously said "I have no money, I just have shares, but I can't go and buy bread with it." But if you can take a loan against it, buy companies but not bread, that just makes you a chump and you can go hire and finance guy. Meanwhile, for the sake of the world, repeal the "company is a separate legal entity" charlatan-speak. 

A company is as legal an entity as a knife. If it's used to commit a crime, a fraud, an embezzlement, it's the person wielding the knife that is punished. Companies can have multiple accounts and multiple employees, but each employee is accountable for their income and their actions. If you're a board member, partner, policy maker in the company, and make money from this company profits (different from salaries), then you become equally responsible for this company's actions. And yes, they too can only earn as much as 1B. Is jail worth it, if your earnings are capped?

If you build a house, everything about the house becomes your responsibility. Nobody walks around saying "the house stole my laptop". Same with a company. 

Which brings us to land. Land cannot belong to an individual. You can still own a $20 M house, but the actual soil under it belongs to the planet, and you can lease it from the government (is that what property tax is?) paid for by the owner of that house. 

Which brings me to the govt. We know of the 5 year cycle of election. This is rubbish because so many policies are designed to manipulate people into voting them in and keeping them in, rather than things that are actually important for the people. And the people who get elected are lying little career charlatans, who can be bribed *cough*Israeli AIPAC fund!*cough*. So - we scrap elections.

Stay with me.

Instead we introduce the voluntary/draft jury system of assignment of "a government of your peers, by your peers, for your peers". Every 2-5 years, from a citizen pool of the nation / state, between the ages of 28-58 college graduates, we random-select 200 people who are then semi-randomly made to run different departments as per their aptitude. This can be defence, housing, health, traffic, education, women's welfare, finance, etc. Their only mandate - make and follow through on policies that will improve the world you will go back to living in in 2-5 years in regular jobs. Populate each department with experts in the field, and let the outgoing "minister" handover with recommendations to the new "minister" about who to keep, who to fire, history, background, and upcoming vision, so far. 

And finally someone for the big picture consolidation, the "Prime Minister / President" if you will. An independent board of directors - also random selected for 7 years - of experts and heads of companies from different fields with voices from finance, science, defence, societal research and academia, creative arts, sports, energy, environment, a member of the billionaire club (depending on goodwill credits), etc etc who vote on recommendations as presented by the "ministers" and a final budget allocation for each of these initiatives. No nonsensical tax shifts, but about how to use the money in the billionaire fund and other resources.

Now what happens with this set up? Money that was only moving vertically into the hands of 3500 people, starts getting spread laterally across the world of billions of people. General quality of life improves with better / cheaper / free access to health, education, research, environment, etc. Meritocracy becomes the norm because if regular people are going to make policy decisions, they will need to be educated well. Corruption drops because if food, shelter, health, environment insecurities disappear, people wouldn't give up their moral core so easily for more money. 

And yes, people who are not very bright or have tiny earning capacities, they get to coast along because well, why not? Go paint a scenery badly. Read a book. Deal with your parent's schizophrenia. Have coffee with friends. Start a drum circle - why not?? If peer-govt and the billionaire fund are solving the problems of hunger, shelter, health and environment because they can and want to - then why does the average joe really need to earn so much? More people want to fall in love and have families and game nights with friends than want to earn a billion dollars. 

And finally, once people get out of the loop of constant insecurity, guess whose mental health improves? Everyone's. Which means, fewer trauma episodes. Fewer parents hurting kids. Lesser Crime. Lesser abuse. Lesser addiction. Lesser war.

And all it takes is telling 3500 people, enough is enough. 

Dating 101 - We're all Shelter Animals

Recently a friend of mine asked me how my sex life was going. I thought about it for a while and then realised that I hadn't had sex with another person in 6 months. He was surprised and asked me why and I said, "Just haven't met someone worth the trouble since then." The truth however is a bit more complex than that. You see, I haven't even missed sex-with-another because the last few times, I found that it... bored me. I mean, it was pleasurable and exciting sometimes and at others sweet and adequate but it wasn't enough to make me pick up the phone and call for repeats. It felt - if you remove the adjectives - merely functional.

To put "functional" in perspective, here are a few other things that are functional - eating food, brushing teeth, showering, scratching an itch - none of which need another human being to be achieved. When sex falls into the same category, all the things that make sex great for me - intimacy, abandon, thrill - go sailing out of the window. And functional doesn't seem like a good enough pay off for the awkward post-coital chit chat.

But his next question changed the trajectory of the conversation. He said, "That's a long time to not be dating... right?" I laughed out loud. Jesus, I haven't dated in yeeeaaarrsss! I may not be entirely celibate but oh boy am I single. He looked confused about that and I explained to him that dating and sex, while great if they overlap, are not always in the same subsets of the venn diagram of human relationships. 

Which is a huge problem for said human relationships btw, because somehow we have come to equate casual sex (or sport-sex as a friend describes it "for the love of the game") with "no feelings". Which somehow has erased all expectations of affection, consideration, respect, caring from said casual sex. These things are what we offer even casual acquaintances, but weirdly, when it comes to people we get naked with, it's "too messy". And if sex is only about the functional release, why would anyone bother to learn to handle another whole person and their idiosyncrasies and annoying aspects for what is ultimately a momentary experience? Is it then a shock that people worldwide are having less sex? 

Not really. Because when we interact with people, what we're really looking for is connection, because from there come the essential feelings of safety and belonging that are the absolute bedrock of who we are as humans. It's why we have always succeeded in communities and become food when solo. Ironically, we also keep feelings away because we assume that THAT keeps us emotionally safe. After all, no one can hurt us, if we're not vulnerable to them. And round and round the merry-go-round we go, building our safety walls higher and higher as we keep out the very thing that keeps us human.

And that's where DATING is essential. 

To be clear, swiping on online apps isn't dating. At its best, it presents an opportunity to meet someone you wouldn't otherwise have and that's it. But what happens between those two people, and what they make of this opportunity, is entirely upto those two people only. And often, there are two ways it can go.

I think of it as browsing vs adopting - and let's use an animal shelter analogy. Browsing in an animal shelter is a function of boredom, restlessness, a passing interest to fill some available time, the dopamine spike of furry curiosity and regard for a stranger that you can pretend is actual love for you, and boosts your imagination of what that pet would make you feel and who you could be perceived as if you infact got a pet. But close on the heels of that is the thought about the smells, the pooping, the changes you'd have to make in your home and schedule and maybe there's another better animal out there who would be more suited to you not changing a thing about your life while getting you all the benefits of being a pet-owner. So yes, browsing-as-dating is nice but you're gonna keep looking for the ideal animal that doesn't smell, or poop, or misbehave, or isn't sick or needs a vet. Mostly though, you're not looking for a pet, you're just looking for a warm, loving body, without the responsibility of keeping it warm or loving.

On the other hand, there's adopting. It's about a real, tangible awareness of what you're missing. You walk into a shelter with a clear idea of what you're looking for. Need to guard your property? Need a companion to share your adventures? Someone that will get you out of the house no matter what? Someone who'll ground you as you fall into a ptsd moment? Or be more or less always be happy to see you if you treat them right? Someone you like, just because. In those moments, pooping, smells, vet and food bills, etc don't come into play because those are the givens of getting a pet. Along the way, you allow for surprises. The guard dog who loves to chase balloons. The rabbit that will accompany you for walks only after you put a leash on them. The turtle that spends an hour to climb onto the roomba cleaner and then spends the whole day moving around the house.

I have a cat that does absolutely nothing. Sleeps for 16 hours a day, watches me for part of the time she's awake, comes by whenever she needs cuddles, disrupts my workday if it interferes with her cuddles, swats me away if I'm interrupting her non-cuddle time, has scratched me up in multiple ways, and insists on only the higher end diet. And I knew within 10 mins of interacting with her that I wanted her forever. Why? Because I had the space and an almost unstated deep need for someone to love. That was 13 years ago.

My point being - unless you have a deeper need, and are willing to fulfil it, you won't be good at adopting-as-dating. I was lucky that someone literally dropped my kitten in my lap and things worked out, but I acknowledge that was luck. It never occurred to me to walk into an animal shelter. 

Now equate an animal shelter with a dating app, and things become clearer. Because that's what an app is - a collection of abandoned, hurt, confused living beings looking for their forever home, wondering what about them will make the next person hold on to them longer this time. And with each visitor, the rejections pile up, the thoughtless, time-wasting browser causes further emotional grief. And you decide to make the tests harder for them before they can touch you. With every new prospect, you growl louder or cold shoulder harder, not only to test their commitment to you but actually to their own needs. And you do the same to yours.

Which is why I have a 3 - visit rule.  If in 3 visits - or dates - you don't feel like taking them home (not in a sex way but in a "you should meet my best friend" way), then it's time to shift your attention to the next match. And for this to work, every date must count, which means it must have feelings involved.

Dating is about sincere intention. It's the little indie movie gem in a market of blockbusters that will stay in your mind long after you've left the theatre. It's the one with the silent long-stare across the room, as opposed to the one with automatic gun fire and time travel and the sheer bombast with nothing at stake. Nobody ever woke up and said they liked feeling nothing. We like stakes. We like feels. In movies and in life. And no matter how much easier it is to consume the pop-crackle blockbuster, deep down you know it's the feels that sate you. But how to set yourself up for the feels? 

There are a few basic things that one needs to keep absolutely top-of-mind when it comes to dating:

1) Attraction is the baseline. After the first meet-and-greet thanks to the app (these are NOT dates!), agree to go out with only those people you are attracted to at that time. Don't go out with them in the hope that you will become attracted to them once you get to know their trauma - that hardly ever happens. You met each other, you saw how they smile and ordered coffee. If you don't find yourself even once wondering what it would be like to kiss them... it's over.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't always followed this. Why? Because I didn't believe that attraction is something you discover in the first meet. I have always been an advocate of "good things take time" but after a few real life attempts at the "don't be shallow!" thing, I know now that "good things" implies intimacy, safety, goofiness, etc and not the gut-pull of "Yummmy!" That last thing you know immediately.

Apologies to all the people I led on thinking that building on friendship will lead to passion. It hasn't yet for me. It's even worse when people you're not attracted to treat you like crap. Ugh... talk about double-whammy betrayals, yikes! Moving on.

2) If you meet someone whom you're attracted to, but who is showing no signs of asking you out, you have to ask them out, even if it is to confirm that they really don't like you. Very dicey step, full of rejection potentials. But necessary. Why?

Because, as a corollary to Point (1) above, if you have chosen to only go out with people you're attracted to, and if you have a certain amount of self-awareness, you already know how rare it is to be genuinely attracted to someone. Now you owe it to yourself to see if that attraction is mutual and could hold over a stretch of time. Someone once said, there are greater chances of you regretting something you didn't do, rather than what you did. So ask them out. Use a variation of the following words "Hi! This is probably unexpected and maybe uncomfortable. But I think you're cute / attractive / intriguing and I'm hoping single. If so, I'd love to take you out for a drink / coffee / dinner and get to know you better. Is that something that would interest you?"

Here's what this kind of approach does. It clearly explains where you're at (you're attracted to someone) and your motives (get to know someone better) while simultaneously checking to see if the focus of your attraction feels the same way about you. That way, if the worst happens (s/he says no, or laughs at you *gasp*), you know that you gave it your most authentic shot and you can move on. 

Do NOT follow up with "Or we can just hang out and see what happens" because that opens the door to a situationship - and the situation is this. You're attracted sexually, but your knees are trembling and you can't stand up for what you want. So you give yourself the soft landing of "it was just a hang out no big deal" when you know it was a big deal. And that's just weak tea - for everyone! The thing with chasing the feels is that you gotta be honest about what you truly feel.

Remember point (1), if they were attracted to you, they'd go out with you on a date. Everything else is bench-warming.

3) S/he said yes! Congratulations! That means s/he agreed to the shared intention of getting to know each other better, with a shared attraction to the other. That's not where it ends. Now is the time to set the timeframe for the date. My personal preference is something about 18-36 hours later ie the next day or the day after that latest. Short enough to keep the momentum going, but long enough to not feel rushed. Check for their availability and general location so that the time-date-venue can be finalised. Why? Because without a specific plan, so far you only have a general intention. Just like many other people in your crush's life who hope to at some point in the future someday when everything works out for both of them and they have the time and are in the city and not too tired and their schedules don't clash and... and... and...

While that sentence finishes, you'd already be in front of your crush, having transitioned from casual to personal life. Yaay you!

4) Now for the actual date. Plan for something low-pressure that can end within 30-45 mins if things aren't clicking, but also can be extended if needed. Coffee / drinks followed by dessert. A stroll in the park followed by ice cream. It doesn't have to be grand and elaborate or filled with surprises. This is a first date, and you're checking to see if the attraction builds over a short but exclusive interaction, unsupported by group shindigs or mutual friends. 

But something interesting needs to happen and this is the time for you to answer the question :  How exactly did you intend to "get to know the other person better" after bringing them to a venue? Did you do something fun (bring flowers or goofy hats) and see their reaction to you? Did you have some fun games / questions in mind?  Or did you just want to see how they eat? Yes conversation should be free flowing but this was your idea so you need to have a few cards up your sleeve. This is the time to let your personality shine and yes, see if they react well to you. And vice-versa.

My personal choice is doing something that allows you to get physically close and casually touch the other person. The physical touch barrier needs to be breached - not just in a hello-hug way but in a hand-holding way. This is important because your body knows what your mind doesn't yet, and answers the question "do we want more of this or less?" 

Recently I discovered that someone I like going out for dinner with, isn't someone I look forward to kissing because when my friend asked me to imagine what it would be like, my immediate gut reaction was "eww". It was a shock to me to realise that what my brain considered respectful non-handsiness was in fact non-attraction. And ever since that discovery, texting him just doesn't feel the same.

Sigh.

5) All of this is good. BUT, the chances of cancellation are pretty high in the gap between setting the date and the actual date. It's the cooling off period between the high of being asked out and the daunting reality of actually spending an hour or so in the company of someone you don't know very well. There will be sudden deaths in the family, or high pressure work deadlines or just unexpected trips to the airport that just have to be made to pick up Uncle Rob who's really old and blind and in a wheelchair. Needless to say, "cooling off" is not a good thing. The idea is to pre-empt it.

Ah, the delicate dance of the pre-empt. Too little, and your crush will likely see that as a sign of your dwindling interest, too much and it's stalkerish. The sweet spot ofcourse is anywhere on this spectrum but with a huge dollop of sincerity and / or surprise. 

Someone I dated for a bit used to leave sealed handwritten notes for me with the barista of the neighborhood coffee shop. Yes, he had my number but the fact that he could get something to me without knowing my address, and get me excited by simply sending a text saying "There's something waiting for you at the coffee shop" - clearly he stayed on my mind even now, more than a decade after the said dates!  

Again, this is a moment for your personality to shine, to impress the other person, to have them be excited about you. Use the in-between time, confirm the plan, send intriguing yet fun texts, check in on how they're feeling about the date, any nerves, schedule stresses, etc. Offer to solve what you can, be flexible within reason, and continue to be interested. 

Another person I dated for a bit made it a habit to send me off-key made up lyrics and songs about how he was feeling. "Have you forgooooottennnn that we are meeeeeeeeeting tomorrooooooowwww, I have tingles, do you like jingles, LASAGNA!" Needless to say, I was amused, excited, and got really relaxed with the amount of goofiness that made it low pressure. We're still friends to this day.

Which brings me to the good news. The truth is that if someone agreed to go out with you, they really wanted to at an instinctive level. Then they got the time to think about it, and their rationality kicked in. Maybe they remembered their past dating history and are wondering if starting again is worth it, maybe they mistakenly double-booked and cancelling on you feels more convenient because you're still an unknown variable and what they don't know, they won't miss. Maybe they're feeling broke. Who knows?  The good news is - it's easier to tackle a rational objection than it is to convert an instinctive rejection. So be confident in the knowledge that your crush's instinct is rooting for you, even while their rationality is trying to protect them. Find an indirect way to reassure them that you're not someone they need protecting from. And letting them know that you're nervous too but also excited while also grounded enough to know it could all go to shit - that's a good start. Sincerity is sexy!

6) Dress up and smell good for the date because you want the object of your attraction to be increasingly attracted to you. It's not about lying, but about creating a memory. Twenty years down the line, you want them to remember how it felt to see you on your first date. Dating is simply about creating some fabulous memories with each other before the relationship hits its first obstacle of many. Because it's usually those special memories that will tide you both over the ornery days, and remind you why you should stick with each other. It's not about the venue but about bringing your best self to the table. It's not just a coffee - it's a coffee with your crush. It's a date, not a hangout. It's supposed to be romantic and flirty and hopefully sexy too.

7) Drink wine and ask each other personal questions with the confidence in the knowledge that both of you are somewhat attracted to each other. No, not those limited to "what do you do, how many siblings, where did you grow up, oh! your favorite food is chinese, cool!" and no, not the "what's your sexual fantasy?" type of nonsense either, though hopefully that will show up sometime around the 7th significant date, after the other trust-building significant dates. And trust takes way longer than a beverage and an appetizer. It requires escalation, it requires risk, it requires the readiness to be wrong and the readiness to repair. That's a relationship - the holy grail - but we're still at the first date. So personal questions - and best to make a game of it. 

Someone I started dating seriously once pulled out a multicolored jenga tower and made a game out of asking blue-green-yellow-orange-red coded questions depending on which tile we pulled out successfully. And whoever dropped the tower did a shot or a dare. He found out I'm allergic to something in mints but that it didn't put me off the stuff, and I discovered that the scar on his wrist was a childhood interaction with a hot saucepan, even though he told all his friends it was a motorbike accident. More than that, it told him I didn't sweat the health stuff and it told me that he lied sometimes if it made him look good. Both important pieces of information if you think about it.

The idea is to make it fun. But everytime I start writing this section, I'm pummeled by the vast amount of nonsensical "these 4 questions will tell you everything you want to know about him" and "know what he wants fast and stop wasting time" and other snap-to-it data gathering interviews that first dates have become. 

The truth is - first dates are the worst possible time to get information. Everyone is nervous, anxious, struggling against hope and fear, grasping with sweaty hands at this perhaps last shot at someone you're attracted to. You and your date are trying to put your best foot forward, but you're also faced with a lifetime of bad habits that you're hoping won't sabotage it. You're also trying to protect yourself from crushing disappointment while being mindful of the other person. Hopefully. So... fun and sincerity are the only first-date vibes you need.

7a) The necessary addendum to this is - and I can't believe one has to write this these days -:- Follow Up With Kindness. The personal questions game isn't just an opportunity to talk and ask questions but to exhibit curiosity and practice vulnerability. You do this by asking follow up questions. "Oh, you don't care about the mint allergy? What else are you allergic to that you tolerate?" Or "Any other scars you've made up macho stories about?" etc etc. NOT "Oh, I guess you just lie about everything then / don't care about your health." Because that is presumptuous and designed to make the other person defensive. A defensive date isn't a responsive date, because they don't feel safe around you, no matter what the pick up artist book told you. 

8) The Bill : The rules are simple. Whoever asked the other person out, they pick up the check. AND it helps the vibe if the guy does it anyway. Because the check isn't a financial decision, it's an emotional one. If the woman asked the guy out, planned where to go and what to do, picking up the tab is the only tangible way the guy shows his appreciation for the date. But if the guy asks the woman out, and wants nothing in exchange for it - not her wallet, not her body - it allows the woman to consider a second date from a place of warm fuzzy feels. It's not about equality. A woman feels self-sufficient when she picks up the check. And why not? She picks up the check all the time in her regular life. She pays the maid, and the driver, the dry cleaner, the cook, the grocery store check-out lady, the repair guy, the valet, the hotel bill for her travels, etc etc. But she doesn't date a service provider. And similarly, when she pays for the date, the loop closes for her. "Thank you for the service of entertaining me this evening, and if a slot opens up when I want to be entertained again, I may reach out to you. If I remember." To be clear, you split checks with friends, not someone you're trying to be memorable for. 

9) If you liked him / her, make another plan quickly, but for 2-4 days later. And all previous rules apply, except now you're watching to see if you and s/he are both more invested or less. Is the texting easier, have texts moved to calls or voicenotes, is attraction acknowledged and built on, or is it uncomfortable? Is that feeling in your stomach excitement or dread? Your body will always know before your mind does, and these 2-4 days will help you process it. And while you do, plan for something that's not just sitting across a table and making conversation. "Hey, next week I wanted to watch this movie, you want to go too?" Or "Hey, there's this professor who takes classes in a bar, he's coming this weekend. Do you want to go?" Or "I'm doing my monthly grocery shopping day after. Wanna go together and make it fun?" Because dating is also about building memories and having new things to build a shorthand around. "Remember at the lecture when you asked that question and his face went red?" Now that's a story that uniquely belongs to just the two of you. 

If you do reach the 3rd date / visit, with all the sincerity and openness you can muster, you will know for certain if you're window shopping or ready to adopt. If you're ready for your bestie to look at this warm body you're beginning to have warm fuzzy feels for, and take his / her opinion of the inevitable pooping and smells and the scratches and the expected expenses and space needs and see if you still want to take on a whole other human being, their feelings, needs, desires - or if you just really like to visit the shelter on your days off - you will inevitably know more about yourself - and isn't that a goal? To know thyself - and thus begins wisdom?

I think I really want to teach a class on dating etiquette.
Or maybe start a pet daycare.
But nobody's hiring :(