Thursday, May 17, 2012

No Goodbyes..

Remember all those teary goodbyes we say to so many people - the breakups, the heartbreaks, the fuck-offs (someone cried then too, you know) - and we swear to ourselves that we will never see them again? Yeah, don't bother. Next time some person looks you in the eye, and tells you that this is the last time you'll see them, just smile and say, 'We'll see." Because honestly, you will be seeing them again. And it won't be such a bad thing.

This week has seen the exes crawling out of the woodwork. Everytime I see or hear from one of them, I'm transported back to the time when lots of tears and anger and resentment were the prime features of the relationship. At some point or the other, each one of them has told me (or has been told by me) that this was the 'last time'. I wish time travel was a reality right now because then I'd take a short trip down memory lane to point and laugh obnoxiously at the people we were. Maybe even sell popcorn for the show.

But here's the thing. Even though I'm amused by the antics, and expect nothing of any real meaning to come through except maybe nostalgia and some laughs, I'm really glad that those doors are still open. It makes it easier, for instance, to be in a coffee shop and have two exes in the immediate neighborhood, while you prepare to meet the third. It feels good to remember that there was a time that you put yourself out there fearlessly, and while your tastes did veer to the highly dysfunctional, it also veered to the talented and the bright. And ofcourse, you see how wrong they are for the person they turned you into.

But because they came back, and they always will, you realize that you weren't horribly wrong to choose them, and even though there were times when you hated each other, there was real love there too. Maybe someday you'll even realize that, because there are no cut-off dates, whom you choose has less to do with how long they'll stay in your life (though extra points should go to those who last longer than a hail mary), and more to do with how they'll change you.

And hopefully, the next time you feel your heart race, you'll remember to factor this in.

Seems doubtful.

No comments: