Tuesday, August 31, 2010

In Another Life

Lately i've been thinking about all the people splitting up around me, walking around with broken hearts, wondering if they'll ever get better, ever get fixed.

Next time you shall smile at me
Your jokes shall make me laugh
Holding hands will be my thing
To do with you wherever we're at
Next time you shall look deep
Into my eyes and see us together
My words will hold you wrapped entranced
As we spin our tales forever

We shall not hide in our shadows
fearful of the others gaze
we shall not shut our eyes
afraid to see the hurt face
We shall not watch early affection
bloom into casual indifference
we shall reach out to each other
and not flinch when the other reaches out too

This life we disappointed ourselves
We weren't all that we could be
We didn't trust our safety nets
we didn't even try to fly free
Our excuses never came up to scratch
But we clung to them like you once clung to me

So maybe this time we got it wrong
every decision was a mess
Each wound was wrongly caused
Every apology was a fake
but i know that we can get it right
you've gotta feel it too..
The only choice i think i have
Is to start again, in another life,
Just me and you...

Going Out

So i've been dabbling with the art of poetry. It's a bit different from my usual prosetic rants about life, loves and everything in between. Also, all this is already on the ubiquitous Facebook... but despite that i'm plagued by thoughts of the website shutting down suddenly and all my writing disappearing with it. Which makes me think about backing up this site too. Ah, paranoia.

The stage is set
the whistle blown
the time has come
to put on the show
wearing a costume
A suit and a smile
we step out of the wings
And start to speak our lines
The rehearsals were many
the actors parts all known
one plays the pauper
one sits on the throne
and the jester of the lot
has his tales often told
the lights come up
the applause is tumultous
the calls for an encore
are nothing if not tortuous
for our jobs are done
this show is over
we were the audience
we are the players.

High Time

We've been together for many years now
a life that has seen many ups, a few downs
Often a snail moved faster
But sometimes i wished we had slowed down
Now i think it's finally time you and i moved on

I have loved you for as long as i've known
You gave me wings and taught me how to float
You showed me the stars, even let me reach the top of the tree
But now i know that its time for me to leave

I don't have a plan, there is no one else
And a shit load to pack up from life's forgotten shelves
Items carried with care now devoid of meaning
Not even much feeling left unless you count that little excited tingling

You'll maybe shed a tear and shrug your shoulders, resigned
Promise even to keep a few things to remember me by
But in truth we'll move on fast enough,
Probably before i finish this maudlin Goodbye

All I Need to Know I Learned at Computer Solitaire

Yes, I do spend a lot of time at my computer. Yes, I often click open Freecell or Solitaire for breaks. Yes, that makes me a bit of a nerd.

But, given all that, i have to say that life lessons are all around you if one would only care to look. So here are a few that Solitaire seems to be trying to tell me - Solitaire's Ten Commandments i suppose.

a) Every hand is a good hand. It's the hand you're dealt. But a part of it is left upto chance. So breathe easy, it's not all in your control anyway (whew!)

b) Opportunities come at you often, probably in threes (who knows?). But you do have to click on them for them to show up. Basically, you need to put in a little bit of effort to let Life know you're ready to play.

c) What you do with these new cards however depends on a combination of the cards that you have been dealt and how well you spot the new ones. Pay a little attention.

d) Once a new card opens for you and you take it, it pretty much ensures that the previous opportunities will never come back to you in the way they did earlier. Maybe they'll come back later when you're better prepared for it. Maybe not. Either ways, each choice you make has far reaching consequences.

e) Sometimes we'd play a card and then a better card would come along and we'd find ourselves saying, 'Damn! I shouldn't have done (whatever) and then (something) wouldn't have happened and then i'll be able to get (whatever new shiny thing that has my fancy at this moment)!" Sorry kiddo, it just wasn't dealt that way. Don't take it personally.

f) You have to constantly rearrange the cards that you have been dealt to make space for new cards. You have to stack them in their correct order, or they don't move. Once you do, they all kind of effortlessly fall into place in their designated little spaces on top. And thus, you create space for the new opportunities every card brings to you.

g) If not a single new card that has opened works for you, well... Game Over. That is also the nature of the game - some hands aren't meant to be played. But you still need to have played it to know that.

h) However, if there is even a single card that is useful but which you haven't picked up, the game doesn't end until you do. Basically, it isn't game over until you squeeze the last drop of juice from every usable opportunity - jobs, people, chance encounters - that is presented to you.

i) I think most versions still have only one "undo" option. So make amends while you still can, because if you move too far, returning to the point of offence may be impossible. So "undo" while you can, and delay "Game Over" so that there's an option of "Game Won".

j) It's just a game. The only thing you have to do is play. With every Game Over, there's the option of Play Again. And you will get better at it.

PS: My current win rate at Computer Solitaire is 16%. So it's likely i'm wrong about everything.

PPS: It's also likely I spend too much time staring at my screen and maybe should get some semblance of a real life.