Monday, May 25, 2009


Have you ever thought of what dreams may mean? Yes, as human beings we're cursed to search for meanings everywhere... but really, have you never had dreams that you were certain were ... something more... than just electrical impulses flowing through our synapses?

Just last night i was racing through just-partitioned India, part of the nascent BSF, trying to keep hurting, enraged de-homed hindustanis from killing each other. I was the only woman there, i was leading a group of scared yet valiant soldiers, determined to keep death at bay. And then i was shot for my efforts.

A few days before that, i was in college - an environment for the feminazis among us - trying to find a friend. I found a few people - the 'inner circle' - and i tried to convince them of the uselessness of trying to be separate... until i found my real friend... and understood the futility of trying to change anyone's mind through the over-hyped medium of conversation.

I called my friend yesterday, to hear how she was doing, Not very well, i'm afraid. Life has had it's way with her and, the knowledge that we had - that we would be fighting back with all our will - that knowledge has been proven false. She ... and i suppose I too, have realised that fighting back was never part of our deal. We're just the examples that are presented to the World. True story.

A couple of days ago, i had an impromptu discussion with my team about ... well.. "what's it all about?". I realised i don't believe in global warming, that i do hope that human beings are reaching a state of transcendence, that 2012 is the start of the Age of Aquarius and all the positivity it's the harbinger of, that telepathy and the extra-senses can be practised to be made perfect and that all of us are just searching for meaning in our lives.

Or maybe just searching for the experience of being alive.

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