Do you envy the people who can get hurt by others? I do. It means they give a shit. It's good to give a shit. Once upon a time I used to. Then I decided its too damn painful. So here I am, not giving a shit, so that the only person who has any say in how happy or unhappy I am is me.
It's a pretty high pressure job, constantly monitoring happiness levels. Most of the time, one tends to shirk and choose "contentment" over the vagaries of happiness or unhappiness. It's also pretty lonely.
Not that writing it down is going to make me give a shit. It's just going to make me realise that no matter what I do, I probably never will change back to the person who really cared. Cuz that person is long gone.
Left behind is me, a girl who wishes she could get hurt by others. Imagine that. After spending a lifetime wishing people wouldn't hurt me, here I am wishing they could.
Talk about irony.