Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The Spark

Why is this concept so hard to understand? Women like men who know how to ignite the spark in them. Simple. Over the last couple of days i've been nanny to a few of my male friends' non-relationship problems. Both of them have decided they want to be with a particular girl (different girl for each of them) and the chosen girl ofcourse treats them like... furniture.

Can't say i blame the girl. While i was trying to tell them what they should do to attract attention of their respective scrumpets, I found myself giving up and saying, "I can't imagine you being sexual." Yeowch!! But there it is - THAT is the problem.

For a woman to be sexually attracted and feel sexual requires a man (or a woman, if she's gay). If you don't believe me, imagine being in a single-sex world. Make up companies would collapse, so would aftershave and perfume, etc etc. At this point, probably all the feminists of the world just turned in their graves, but i'm talking sexuality, not the equal rights in the workplace, man helping change diapers kind of stuff. Sexuality, whether we like it or not, is linked to sex, and the desire to mate. Who would want to mate with furniture?

Boy 1 told me, "i don't give 'bhao' to women. Either they talk to me or they can fuck off." And the result of that admirable stance? He's sipping coffee with a platonic female friend, while the Girl is probably having dinner with someone who went that extra distance and got noticed. Boy 2 asks, "What do you mean get noticed? We're friends already." Uh, yeah.. and that's how she treats you, not as someone she'd want to bonk silly.


And then i started wondering about the solution. What would it take to create the proverbial 'spark'. And the answer is - surprise.

The minute you surprise someone, you get their attention. It makes you stand out from the crowd. It's what all pick-up-lines, flowers in the workplace, whipped cream in bed etc is all about - surprise.

- the shy guy who reveals a sardonic sense of humor
- the funny guy who suddenly goes serious
- the 'fuck you, i'm cool' guy who shows sincere concern
- the ugly guy who keeps getting stunning women as visitors (call your friends or hire them, if you must!)
- the weird stamp collector almost-stalker guy...who's just near-sighted.

Or whatever.

The point i'm trying to make is that we as women love to categorize men. Once we have pigeon-holed you, then we can deal with you. It's the men who refuse to fall in with our definitions and keep us off-kilter that annoy us, irritate us and finally... get us.

Stupid, huh? I know. But the truth is, once you get our attention for a long enough period, then we start desiring your exclusive attention. And thus continues the age-old dance.

PS: Maybe the above is a simplistic explanation. But it's definitely a place to start.

I think.


Anonymous said...

You're so full of poo-poo.

Searcher said...

:-D Really? Why?

Another Anonymous said...

This is another anonymous- what exactly is "poo-poo"?

-hotsy totsy?

The One said...

Another Anon: Sorry to interrupt your extremely interesting conversation thread, but IMHO the spelling, and only the spelling, should be S-H-I-T-E. Carry on.

Another Anonymous said...

Another Anon says: TO, S-h-Y-t-e is written to say S-H-I-T-E with 'efffect'.

Anyway, why does one random anon feel that searcher is so full of poo-poo (Owhat ever poo-poo means?)


Sharon said...

Searcher: I have a question for you regarding on of your earlier posts. I'm not sure if you go back and read your comments section, so thought id write it under your latest post instead.

This question is regarding your post about foreplay. It seems from reading your post that men ('Indian' men I mean ) don't believe in foreplay at all. It seems they dont even know what it means. Is that true? I've dated a lot of american men, and boy o they know how to please a woman :).....not only do they do it, they 'love' making a woman happy. You don't have to 'ask' them.....they equally LOVEmaking a woman happy in bed..and do it of their own.

But I was kinda disappointed to read what u wrote in your post. is it true that even 'grown up' Indian men, don't believe in foreplay? (of course I know you will speak from your experience or the experience of your friends). But please share your views.tia

Searcher said...

Another Anon: dunno why i'm considered full of 'poo-poo', but i'm guessing it's a safe enough position to start with.

TO: Sarcasm, huh? Sweet.

Sharon: I'm sure they 'believe' in foreplay... it's like belief in God.. you know he/she exists, and more often than not you'd consider yourself a believer, but how many actually practice active faith? :-) But, in all honesty, i have to say that i know some men who're just great at foreplay. In fact, a friend of mine has been at the foreplay stage for the last 2 years... can't wait to find out what the D-Day would be like :-)