It's official. Either dating is the stupidest, moronic thing in the world, or i'm just doing it wrong. I assume that dating is about romance... creating that warm, fuzzy feeling, that insane sparkly connection, that desire to reach out and touch another person.
But what is the fascination with meeting random people for coffee / drinks / dinner at various entertainment stops? What's the great moment of connection that i'm supposed to get from staring at someone's face, as they tell me all about investing in the stock market or social marketing, or lawyer-ing, or a joke about someone who said "sex-ion" instead of "section" (seriously, are we still 12 years old?), or a million other stupid things. All of them - good people. The only common factor being Me.
Honestly, I've never 'dated' (what is that anyway?). I've either been in love, or lust, or i have friends. It's exhausting meeting new people, going through the same conversations about "tell me about you.." when seriously, everyone seems super-bored with themselves. Ofcourse, i've read the literature about "show interest in the other person" etc and i appreciate someone trying to get to know me, and i'm usually always interested in a new person (who wouldn't be? They're new! But generating my curiosity? That's not happened in such a long time!) - but how is this supposed to create a "romantic" situation when i just want to smash my coffee mug / wine glass on his head or mine?!?!?
What's happened to the effortlessness of just connecting with someone? What happened to being surprised? Why is it all about convenience? Even if it's convenience, why are people just asking me out to consume something - coffee, food, alcohol?? Do they assume that feeding me is the only way to keep me in place while we have desultory conversation?
And the truth is, i miss it. I miss looking across the table and just thinking, 'Oh so cute/dishy/sexy/yummy!" instead of "Is it polite for me to leave now?" I miss being taken by surprise, being provoked (in a good way), being kept off-balance (again, good way) instead of thinking, "Oh Lord, I'm so not into him." I miss romance. I miss the butterflies in the stomach. I miss the body-slam of 'this is the one' desire. Instead, i get multiple cups of coffee, the sometimes-dinners, the depressing ratio of 5 nice conversations to 15 tedious encounters, the too much-too soon revelations.
Maybe this is what 'dating' is. In which case, can we just be remote, online messenger friends?